Bandanna Dee: True Neutral
by Kirbunny431
Summary: Bandanna Waddle Dee is just like any other servant to King Dedede.  He gets in Kirby's way, guards the castle, etc. etc.  However, what happens behind the scenes?  What does Bandanna Dee do in his spare time?
1. Go Fish

Bandanna Waddle Dee looked over his opponents. They all seemed very confident of themselves. Starman was watching intently with the eyes that he didn't have. Sir Kibble was evaluating the situation. Waddle Doo was blinking impatiently.

Bandanna Dee stared at each of them individually, trying to determine who had the weakness that he was looking for. They didn't give anything away. Victory seemed unlikely. But, it was still possible. He took a deep breath and readjusted his blue bandanna.

Then, it happened. Sir Kibble fidgeted. It was very subtle, what with that thick armor hiding most movement. Most would've passed it off as a twitch, but Bandanna Dee knew better than that. With newfound confidence, he said, "Sir Kibble?" His voice was very pleasant for someone without a mouth. Sir Kibble's helmet turned a bit to indicate that he was looking. "Yes?" he responded.

"Got any fives?" Bandanna Dee asked. Sir Kibble froze for a moment, before gently flicking his last card at Bandanna Dee. Waddle Doo and Staman threw their cards up in the air. "Finally." They said. "I thought the game would never end." The four of them rose from their seated positions on their blanket.

Starman picked up the (now empty) picnic basket and carried it inside the castle. Sir Kibble and Waddle Doo began rolling up the blanket. The former complained, "I don't know how he does it." The latter responded, "I bet he keeps extra cards up that bandanna of his."

Bandanna Dee smiled on the inside. He was in no way a cheater. It was simply process of elimination. Sir Kibble was the only one that hadn't asked for a five yet, and everyone knew it. The fidget was just for confirmation on Bandanna Dee's part.

Waddle Doo, carrying the blanket, turned around and motioned at Bandanna Dee. "Come on!" he called out. Bandanna Dee obeyed, trotting after them. By the time he caught up, Sir Kibble was asking Waddle Doo a question. "Did you happen to notice that we've had a lot of free time lately?"

Waddle Doo rolled his eye. "Did you happen to notice that we just spent the last four hours having a picnic? Yes, everyone's realized that nothing's going on." Sir Kibble shrugged. Bandanna Dee, walking behind the other two, said, "From what I've heard, the King's been pretty bored lately."

Sir Kibble nodded in his hulking suit. "Well, that makes sense. If the King doesn't do anything, then Kirby won't set out to stop him. And if Kirby doesn't set out to stop him, we're not dispatched to impede his progress."

The three were now inside the castle. They turned down a corridor, their feet making loud, echoing clapping sounds against the cold floor. "It's all good with me." Waddle Doo said. "The less work, the better. We're not losing pay or anything." Bandanna Dee stared at him. "We don't get paid." He said. "My point exactly." Waddle Doo replied as he threw the picnic blanket inside a closet.

Sir Kibble decided to go to the target range and practice with his cutters. Bandanna Dee asked if Waddle Doo wanted to go and play ping-pong. He shrugged as best he could with his short arms. "It's not like we have anything better to do."

They made their way to the game room that all castle personnel shared. Many joked that the only reason they stayed in service was that they got tons of cool stuff to play with whenever the King was off doing something else. Waddle Doo turned the decreased-in-height doorknob and swung the wooden door open. His eye opened wide. "Whoa." He said. Bandanna Dee peered past him. He made a small squeaky noise before stating the obvious: "This could be a problem…"


	2. Game Room Catastrophe

The scene that stood before Bandanna Dee and Waddle Doo was one that all bored castle personnel feared. The official game room, nearly always empty-save for the occasional Blade Knight or Cupie-was now filled with no less than 60 Waddle Dees. They all seemed to be milling around one arcade machine, some standing on their tiptoes to allow for a better view.

Waddle Doo pushed past most of the Waddle Dees, insistent on finding out what was so important. Bandanna Dee, being a bit less aggressive, only managed to squeeze by a couple before realizing that it was hopeless to try and go any further. Instead, he tapped one of the other Waddle Dees on the "shoulder."

"What's going on in here?" he asked curiously. The Waddle Dee replied, "You don't know yet? Man, where have you been?" Bandanna Dee's eyes closed and his cheeks rose slightly, the 'Dee equivalent of a smile. "I was playing Go Fish with my friends!" The Waddle Dee blinked. "Go Fish? Wow, you were missing out."

He pointed toward the front of the room, where all the other Waddle Dees were focused. "We got a new game today!" he said gleefully. "Dee-Force: the one and only game focused only on Waddle Dees!" _Well, that explains why the castle seemed so empty earlier. This game must be really fun._ "What's the game about?" The Waddle Dee jumped for joy. "It puts you in the position of a superhero Waddle Dee as you set out to save the world!"

It sounded interesting. "So, when would I be able to get a turn?" Bandanna Dee asked. The Waddle Dee did some silent calculations. "Ten o'clock P.M." He motioned over to a dispenser of sorts. "You can take a number over there, if you want."

Bandanna Dee thought it over. He could take his number and go do other things while he waited for his turn. However, with his luck, he would most likely forget about it and someone else would take his turn. Besides, ten was past his bedtime.

He shook his head. "No thanks. I'll just wait until the hype dies down." The Waddle Dee shrugged. "Your loss. Hey…what's that over there?" He pointed at some commotion at the front of the crowd. Bandanna Dee strained and stretched, trying to see what was going on. He could just barely see a large, red sphere being passed and rolled backwards from Waddle Dee to Waddle Dee.

"Hey…hey, put me down!" Waddle Doo cried. It looked like he was crowd surfing. But, as anyone that had talked to him for two seconds knew, he wasn't charismatic enough to be able to get away with that.

When Waddle Doo finally made it to the very back of the crowd, the backmost Waddle Dee tossed him onto the floor. He hit the ground with a loud plop. Bandanna Dee cautiously peered over the limp form of Waddle Doo. The latter stood up in a fuming rage and shook his fist at the sky. "Selfish Waddle Dees!" he yelled. "Not letting me play a game…that's unheard of!" He whipped around and began to stomp out of the game room. "C'mon, let's go."

Realizing that there was no point in trying to move around in such a crowded game room, Bandanna Dee decided to follow. "Where are we going?" he asked. "I dunno." Waddle Doo replied. That wasn't a very good answer, but Bandanna Dee decided that it wasn't worth anyone's time to ask again.


	3. Recruitment Duty

"Aw, man." Sir Kibble groaned as he stared at the slip of paper he'd just pulled out of his employee mailbox.

"What is it?" Bandanna Dee asked, curious as ever.

Sir Kibble forked the paper at Bandanna Dee. "Just read it."

Bandanna Dee took the paper and began to read. _NOTICE: You and Soldier #1235 have been selected to perform recruitment duty this month. Please meet with your partner and commence with recruitment at exactly 1:00 P.M. on Sunday. If you refuse to perform your duty, you be evicted and/or fired. Thank you for understanding._

Bandanna Dee's heart sank, as his identification number was 1235. He and Sir Kibble had been assigned to work recruitment duty, which was possibly the worst job in the kingdom, second only to washing King Dedede's laundry. He handed the invitation back to his friend and let out a pitiful "Aw…"

Recruitment duty was a seemingly simple job that two people were assigned to every month. The kingdom was always hiring, and as a result about thirty new recruits came in per month. Someone had to make sure the aspiring soldiers were up to snuff, and the higher-ranking officers had much better things to do than put up with a bunch of newbies.

The job consisted of having brief interviews with each new recruit and taking notes on their responses. If they received too many negative notes, they were fired before they could even start to screw things up.

"Well," Bandanna Dee said after a morbid silence, "how long do we have before we need to start?"

"I'm not sure." Sir Kibble replied as he turned to look at the wall clock. "But we've gotta have at least…" He stopped short upon finding that the time was 12:59. He didn't bother with completing his sentence, but rather took off down the hallway at the fastest speed his armor would allow. Bandanna Dee trotted after him, the fear of losing his job bringing the gift of speed to his little feet.

Thirty seconds later the two arrived in the interview room, which was about the size of two broom closets lumped together. Bandanna Dee plopped down onto his designated stool, panting. He pulled his sweat-drenched bandanna off, dabbed his face and wrung it out. "I've never run so fast in my life." He commented.

"Neither have I." Sir Kibble said, his golden armor making chaotic clanking sounds as he tried to find a comfortable position on his stool. "But at least we made it. We might as well get started now so we can get out of here sooner." He depressed a button on the interview desk, designed to call the next person from the waiting room.

It only took a few moments before the first new recruit entered the room, a standard Waddle Dee. "Good afternoon, sirs." He said nervously.

"Good afternoon." Sir Kibble said. "My name is Sir Kibble, and I'll be serving as your interviewer today. My little pal here is Bandanna Dee, who will be taking notes on your responses." They actually had no time to discuss the decision, but Sir Kibble figured that his chicken-scratch handwriting wouldn't be much of an asset to their goal.

"Okay. Ask away." The Waddle Dee said.

"First: what inspired you to join the King's army?" "Army" wasn't the right word for the cobbled-together team of people that he and Bandanna Dee were a part of, but saying "army" was a lot easier than giving this technical definition.

"Well, I really believe in the cause. Anything that makes the King happy makes me happy. I also hope to make some new friends while I'm here."

Bandanna Dee stopped halfway through the doodling of a kitten on a piece of scrap paper to take note of the Waddle Dee's response. _Wants to make friends and please the King._

"Second," said Sir Kibble, "why do you believe that you're qualified to do this job?"

"I'm a team player and love working with others, nor do I give up easily."

Bandanna Dee jotted the response down.

"Finally: what is your favorite color?"

The question seemed to catch the Waddle Dee off guard. "Erm…burgundy?" Bandanna Dee spelled that as best he could.

Sir Kibble folded his hands together. "Thank you. You'll receive a response by five o'clock tomorrow. Once you are in the hallway, you may stop by the first room on the left for a free cupcake if you like." He actually knew nothing about this beforehand; he was simply reading from the pre-installed cheat sheet on the desk.

The Waddle Dee rose from his chair, thanked the two for their time and proceeded to the cupcake room. "That was easy." Bandanna Dee commented. "Maybe this won't be as bad as we thought."

Sir Kibble nodded and pressed the button to call in the next recruit. A mangy-looking possum-like creature entered the room. "'SUP?" he said so loudly that Bandanna Dee winced at the noise. "Might as well not even bother with the interview. I'm prime military material!"

Bandanna Dee shivered. Sir Kibble tried to perform a facepalm, but his cumbersome armor prevented the action. "Oh no…" he said instead.

Two hours later, the final interview came around. Bandanna Dee was reduced to insanely scribbling on his scrap paper, and Sir Kibble would've pulled all of his hair out had his helmet not been defending his scalp. With a shaky hand, he pressed the button.

He calmly strode through the doorway and took his seat. "I am Fez Dee," he said, "and I would appreciate it if you could make this quick."

Bandanna Dee looked up from his manic scribbling. Before him was dark blue Waddle Dee wearing a deep purple fez. Differently colored Dees were common, but hat-wearing ones weren't. Bandanna Dee was perplexed by the fez. The only other hat he'd seen on a Dee was when one defected and piloted the Halberd to help Meta Knight take over Dreamland, but even then the stylish sailor hat was lost in the ocean when the ship crashed.

Sir Kibble gathered the last of his strength to deal with this final recruit. "Okay. Hello…Fez Dee. I'm…" "I don't care." Fez Dee interrupted, "I just want to get his interview over so I can begin my job as soon as possible."

Bandanna Dee was shocked at the rudeness. Most Dees were nice and polite. He couldn't let someone like this join the King's army. So, he did the only thing he could do: made a note of it. _Is rude,_ he wrote.

Sir Kibble took a moment to recover. "O-okay. So, why did you decide to sign up for the King's army?"

"I wanted to make sure that this pathetic excuse for an 'army' had at least one saving grace in it."

Bandanna Dee begrudgingly wrote that down.

"I-I see. So, why do you think you're capable of joining this army?" Sir Kibble seemed just as uncomfortable as Bandanna Dee felt.

"I'm in top physical condition. I'm capable of anything. No matter what task I am given, I will do it better than my foolish superiors thought. Any army would be lucky to have me. But…" he looked over at Bandanna Dee before continuing, "…I can see that this army has very low standards anyway."

Bandanna Dee hated having to write that down.

"Finally…" Sir Kibble didn't get any further than that. "I don't have time for any more questions. You've got all of the information you need." Fez Dee left the interview room, leaving the duo dumbfounded.

The two eventually recovered from their shock. Sir Kibble scooped up the stack of papers that Bandanna Dee had been taking notes on and placed them on the receptionist's desk just outside the interview room. Later, she would submit them to the higher-ups so they could make the final cuts.

Before continuing back toward their rooms, the two snatched a couple of delectable pastries from the cupcake room. Sir Kibble shrugged. "We might as well get something for our trouble."

"Yeah. That was a pretty stressful job." Bandanna Dee commented as he began to nibble on his cupcake.

"You don't seem very offended." Sir Kibble observed.

"By what Fez Dee said? I know he's a meanie, so I'm not gonna let him get to me. By the way, are you gonna eat that cupcake?"

Sir Kibble admired Bandanna Dee's maturity before handing him the cupcake. "Take it."


	4. The Dreamland Festival

"All right!" Bandanna Dee exclaimed before hungrily gobbling up the cotton candy he received from one of the many vendors. "I love cotton candy!" Waddle Doo rolled his eye and let off a quiet grumble before paying for the overpriced treat. The two left the stand and began aimlessly walking around the grounds of the annual Dreamland Festival.

The Dreamland Festival, held every April 27th, was essentially a gigantic birthday party held for the kingdom. Records stated that the land was founded centuries ago, created by someone who was most certainly _not_ related to King Dedede whatsoever. The festival honored the land, its people, its history, and nearly anything else one could think of. Featuring food, games and more food, anyone that missed it was sure to have regrets.

Everyone, and I mean _everyone_ attended the festival. Kirby, the Cappies, the King and his royal servants, and even the twin humans Ado and Adeleine would show up now and again. It was good, old-fashioned fun.

Naturally, Waddle Doo wasn't thinking about anything as pleasant as that. "Why do I always have to pay?" he complained.

Bandanna Dee took another bite of cotton candy before responding. "Because you have more money."

"We get the exact same paycheck." Sometimes, Waddle Doo had severe difficulty understanding his friend.

"Yes, but," he tugged at his bandanna, "you don't have to take a bandanna to the Laundromat once a week, now do you? Do you know how expensive and difficult it is to clean a 100% silk bandanna? I didn't think so!"

"Okay, okay, whatever." Waddle Doo said dejectedly. "I give up."

"Hey! Guys!" someone called out from behind a large group of people. The two turned to look toward the source. A few moments passed before Sir Kibble broke through the blockade and nearly lost his bag of popcorn in the process. Upon arrival at the side of his friends, he readjusted the cutter attached to the top of his helmet and said in relief, "Whew. Thought I'd never find you guys." He tossed a couple pieces of popcorn through the slot in his helmet and into his hidden mouth.

"Hi!" Bandanna Dee said mere milliseconds before chomping down on his cotton candy again.

Sir Kibble stood in silence for a few moments before awkwardly asking, "…how do you two eat, exactly? Neither of you even have mouths."

Bandanna Dee made abstract motions with his arm-stubs. "You see, it's…well, actually, we…it's kinda like…sort of…I can't explain it."

"Never mind." Sir Kibble said, finding it not worth pursuing any further. "I don't care that much."

The three wandered around for a while, trying to find an interesting game to play. Everything they looked at was either unimpressive or overpriced. Bandanna Dee spotted a game with small plastic buoys floating in a tub of water. His suggestion was met with a "Sure, why not?" reaction from the other two.

They approached the stand, presided over by a Squishy in a fishing hat. "Welcome to the Buoy Challenge!" he recited the obviously rehearsed words. "Care to give it a shot?"

"Explain the rules, first." Waddle Doo demanded. "I want to make sure we're not getting ripped off."

The Squishy nodded. "Very well." He picked a spare buoy up from the ground, as well as a fishing line and hook. "The object of this game is to fish for the buoys. You use your hook to grab a hold of the buoys," he indicated a small metallic ring attached to the top of the buoy, "and pull them out of the water. You're only allowed forty-five seconds to fish, and you must do it from this platform."

The "platform" was actually just a two-step foot-ladder. Well, it would've been too easy otherwise. "The buoys each have an amount of points on the bottom. At the end of the game, you cash your points in for prizes. But, you need to be careful. Two buoys will eliminate all of your points. You may stop and keep the points you already have at any time you wish."

"How much is it?" Waddle Doo asked.

"Three dollars a person."

Waddle Doo handed the Squishy a ten. "Fine." He turned to his friends and said, "I get to go first." Without awaiting the permission he would've gotten anyway, he climbed the foot-ladder and took the hook presented to him. After a quick session of mixing the buoys around in the tub, the Squishy began the game.

It was a lot more difficult than he expected. The fishing line was barely long enough, and the hook had about as much grip as one of those claw machines. Despite that, his game ended with him having caught two buoys, which amassed him a hundred points. He walked off one candy bar richer.

Sir Kibble went next. About halfway through a rather successful haul of four buoys, he caught one of the buoys that eliminated all points. After recollecting most of his points, he caught the second doom buoy. Zero points awarded him as much oxygen as he wanted.

Bandanna Dee nervously stood on the foot-ladder. He spent half of his game collecting a whole bunch of nothing. The second half saw a massive comeback, however, as he got a lucky string of high-value buoys. Seven hundred and fifty points earned him an oversized stuffed bear.

"Yay!" he said as he gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"What a waste of three dollars." Waddle Doo commented, disgusted. "This candy bar tastes like crud."

"At least you got a prize." Sir Kibble complained, his arms crossed.

"Trust me, no prize at all is better than this horrible thing."

"Lemme try it."

Waddle Doo broke off a chunk from the other end and handed it to Sir Kibble. "Go for it."

Sir Kibble tossed the chunk into the slot in his helmet. A few seconds later, he simply said quietly, "Blech."

The group proceeded to another area, looking for more fun things to do. Sir Kibble dominated in the ring toss, Waddle Doo won without a contest in darts, and Bandanna Dee emerged supreme after a fierce match of that game with the milk bottles. Saying that it was a pleasant evening would be a disgusting understatement.

A couple hours later, the friends were leaving the festival. Whilst walking on a nearly deserted dirt road, Bandanna Dee told a riveting story about a very disturbing Arbor Day. "After that, I was just sitting around and relaxing. Then, suddenly, a bunch of geese started chasing me."

"Why?" Sir Kibble asked the question that would naturally come to anyone's mind.

"I don't know. Maybe they-" Bandanna Dee didn't have the opportunity to complete that sentence as he went crashing into someone, having been too focused on telling the story to even notice anything in front of him. Both of them went tumbling a few feet before they slowed down enough to get their bearings and rise to their feet.

"WHO DARES DEFILE MY CLOAK?" Bandanna Dee's unintentional victim shouted, enraged. He was about Waddle Dee-sized, clad in a scarlet cloak with a hood covering his head and disguising his features.

Bandanna Dee was immediately on his feet. Despite only seeing about two particles of dirt on the cloak, he was quick to apologize. "I'm sorry, sir! I didn't mean to run into you!"

Cloak-Man made a motion for Bandanna Dee to stop speaking. (It looked more than a bit ridiculous with the overly long sleeves.) "Silence thyself, peasant! Thou art fortunate I dust not smite thee forthwith!" His voice was oddly deep for a being of his size.

"Hey, Sir Ham-A-Lot!" Waddle Doo said, planting his feet firmly on the ground. "Quit chewing the scenery! Maybe it'll allow your big mouth to talk like someone from this century!"

Cloak-Man turned to face Waddle Doo. "Thou hast made a grievous misjudgment to defy Dyorux, Supreme Sorcerer!" He held his arms out at his sides, which spontaneously caught on fire. Following that, he held them up in front of his face, as if he were about to enter a boxing match.

Bandanna Dee took a step back and tugged on Waddle Doo's arm. "Let's just go home." He said weakly. "Someone could get hurt."

Waddle Doo pulled his arm out of his friend's grasp. "No way. I'm gonna show this guy that nobody threatens any of my friends." He took a brief glance around the area. "Besides, there aren't any innocents out here that may get caught in the crossfire." He leaned forward a bit to give this Dyorux person an unsettling upward stare. His eye began to crackle and spark with electric energy from an unknown source, his Beam powers fully at the ready.

Sir Kibble sighed. "Isn't this like the third time this month?"

"Fourth." Bandanna Dee corrected.

The two of them were stuck in a situation with no good outcomes. There was no way for them to convince Waddle Doo to back down, and simply leaving him behind was out of the question. If he got hurt, he'd need someone nearby to get help.

So, they simply solemnly stood where they were, awaiting the inevitable scuffle.


	5. Not All Right in the Head

Waddle Doo made the first move after little to no prior thought. He simply charged forward, arms flailing. Bandanna Dee sighed. That was exactly how it happened the last time, and Waddle Doo was left bedridden for a week as a result of it. He should've learned his lesson after that.

The Dyorux guy easily avoided the reckless assault by sidestepping and comically sticking his foot out. Waddle Doo tripped right over it and went tumbling head-over-heels (or, in his case, eye-over-feet) before coming to a stop a few feet away, grumbling in anger.

Despite a minor knock to the head and some dirt in the eye, Waddle Doo wouldn't be discouraged so easily. He rolled to his feet and charged forward again, which produced results identical to the last. Standing up once more, Waddle Doo finally remembered that he possessed the ability to fire electric whips from his eye, albeit much later than he should have. After a bit more thought than the previous two attempts, he managed to develop something resembling a feint strategy.

Waddle Doo charged forward again, pretending as if he just hadn't learned his lesson. Just as Dyourx turned to trip him again, he stopped short. Without a moment's hesitation, he whacked Dyorux with a very low-powered energy-whip. The cloaked character reeled backwards a step, releasing a grunt.

He recovered in an instant and finally performed an actual attack, flinging a fireball from his flaming hands. His aim was, thankfully, not the best, as the fireball went sailing harmlessly past Waddle Doo and puffed out in the inflammable dirt. Waddle Doo countered with a weak burst of energy from his eye. Dyorux sustained a direct hit and was sent skidding backwards.

"All right!" Sir Kibble said as he pumped his fist into the air.

"Ooh!" Bandanna Dee gasped and covered his eyes. He practically felt it.

Waddle Doo chortled and said sarcastically, "You sir are certainly a powerful fighter. I haven't encountered anyone as tough as you since Bandanna Dee and I faced off against that practically-sentient mold in the back of the refrigerator last month."

Bandanna Dee shuddered at the thought. That truly was a disgusting mold, not to mention nearly impossible to clean out. Never again would he forget to throw out the leftover casserole. He felt sick just thinking about it.

"I really wish I knew what all the hype was about." Waddle Doo continued, "Because what you've shown me so far isn't nearly as impressive as I expected."

"Silence, knave! Thou hast not yet endured my incredible wrath!" Dyorux shouted. "Thee shall-" "Bah, quiet down!" Waddle Doo interrupted. Without attempting to speak again, Dyorux began to unleash a flurry of fireballs on his adversary again. Waddle Doo didn't even try to move out of the way of the abysmally aimed attack. He ran forward and began to counterattack.

Bandanna Dee, having several taboos against violence, wasn't exactly enjoying the fight. He was proud that Waddle Doo was able to hold his own in a fight with an alleged sorcerer, but only because it meant that Waddle Doo wouldn't get too badly hurt, if at all. He felt bad for Dyorux, even though he was rude to him. Waddle Doo was fighting with a power level equivalent to getting whacked with a thin stick, it could still smart a bit.

The fight went on for a while longer, with Waddle Doo and Dyorux on even footing. Although they seemed to be equal, Waddle Doo seemed to hold the torch of superiority just a bit more often. Bandanna Dee had enough and was about to try and stop the fight.

"Stop!" somebody shouted before he could. Waddle Doo stopped in mid-dodge and Dyorux in mid-attack to look toward the source. Bandanna Dee and Sir Kibble looked as well. Walking from the direction of the festival was another Dee-sized being clad in a cloak nearly identical to Dyorux's, save for a purple coloration.

Dyorux immediately forgot about his battle with Waddle Doo and ran up to Purple-Cloak. Waddle Doo made a bewildered "wha?" sound. Dyorux knelt at Purple-Cloak's feet, which for a Dee-sized person with no legs consisted of hunching forward a bit and looking at the ground. "My master." he said, "What duty dust thou bestow upon me?"

"Cease and desist immediately." Purple-Cloak said. "There's no need for you to fight with these people. Now, return to base."

Dyorux replied, "My almighty master…if I dust depart, who shalt smite yonder adversary?" he turned to glare at Waddle Doo for a moment.

"I'll take care of it." Purple-Cloak said. "Now go."

"Ast thou wish." Dyorux said before standing upright. Paying no further attention to Waddle Doo or Bandanna Dee (and still paying no attention whatsoever to Sir Kibble), Dyorux walked off into the night.

Waddle Doo was up in Purple-Cloak's face in an instant. "Who do you think you are, stopping the fight like that?" he asked, exasperated.

Bandanna Dee called out weakly, "Waddle Doo! Please don't get in another fight!" If Dyorux referred to Purple-Cloak as "master", that inherently meant that the master would be the stronger of the two. Even though Waddle Doo was able to nearly best Dyorux, the master would probably be a lot stronger.

"Quiet, Bandanna Dee!" Waddle Doo said, not taking his eye off of Purple-Cloak. "Why did you do that? I was just about to win!"

Purple-Cloak nodded. "You probably were, but I couldn't have you hurting him. I mean, I broken assistant isn't any better than no assistant, is it?"

"Assistant? What?"

"Look, it's a long story." Purple-Cloak noticed a cluster of picnic tables off to one side. "Let's go have a seat over there, and I'll explain everything." When he didn't receive a response, he motioned at a paper bag he had in one hand. "I have cookies."

"We're in!" Bandanna Dee and Sir Kibble said simultaneously.

Once they were situated, Purple-Cloak passed out two cookies to everybody and began. "My name is Kurai, and I'm a professional magician who performs all over Dreamland. You may have-" "Just cut to the chase." Waddle Doo interjected impatiently.

Sir Kibble tore a chunk of cookie off and tossed it into the slot in his helmet. With his mouth full, he said, "Yeah. While I'm sure that you have an interesting life, I'm more interested in finding out what the story is behind the Dyorux guy."

Kurai sighed. "Fine. As you might've guessed, Dyorux isn't all right in the head. He thinks he's a sorcerer from medieval times who serves as an apprentice under the great wizard Kurai. Before you ask, no, I do not know why." He nibbled a bit on one of his cookies. "Basically, I couldn't get rid of him. No matter what I tried, he just wouldn't go away. Eventually, I figured out that an assistant who worked for free actually wasn't so bad. We just go around and do shows, and I just tell him we're performing for the King's court or some other nonsense."

Bandanna Dee had already gobbled up both of his cookies. "Isn't that a little…wrong?" he asked. "Why didn't you get him some mental help instead of just using him for free labor?"

"I tried. But whether I took him to a doctor or had a therapist do a house call, he'd always freak out and attack them with those fireballs."

"Is he actually a real sorcerer?" Waddle Doo asked.

"No. He's just pyrokinetic, like a Hothead or a Burning Leo. I don't know why he thinks he's a sorcerer either, so don't ask." He reasserted himself in his seat. "Now, wait. Why were you fighting him, anyway?"

Sir Kibble told the story. "We were leaving the festival, and Bandanna Dee just bumped into him. He started yelling, and Waddle Doo picked a fight with Dyorux to defend Bandanna Dee."

"Ah. Well, I admire the care that you have for your friend." Kurai said to Waddle Doo.

"Why did he start yelling at me when I bumped into him?" Bandanna Dee asked.

He shrugged. "He tends to have a really explosive temper. If anything even goes slightly wrong, he usually flips out and starts yelling at everyone." He chuckled. "I will admit, that was an impressive fight. You're in the King's army, aren't you?"

"Sure, but you can't really call it an army." Sir Kibble grumbled. "We're more like just a group of people that gets paid to stand directly in Kirby's way if he goes looking to stop the King."

"Oh?" Kurai seemed very interested. "So you don't really do much fighting?"

"It all depends on who we are. People like Waddle Doo use their beam whips, and people like me use these sharp boomerang things." He snorted. "Heh. It doesn't take much skill at all. We don't even receive any formal training."

"You don't?"

"None at all. I guess it's just not worth the time and money to train us to annoy Kirby whenever he goes on an adventure once every few months." He sighed. "He usually just plows through us anyway.

"That's right." Waddle Doo confirmed. "And when he does, it's usually for something stupid. A couple years ago, he went ballistic because he lost a piece of strawberry shortcake. I mean, who does that?"

"Hey now." Bandanna Dee said. "He's a really nice guy. When the King told me (of all people) to stop him from getting to the castle arena, I got really scared. I explained the situation to Kirby and he let me go without a scratch."

"Yeah, but-" "That's enough about Kirby." Kurai broke in. "I just need to confirm something: so you guys receive _no formal military training whatsoever_?"

"No."

"Nope."

"Nu-uh."

Kurai snickered. "Interesting."

"Why do you ask?" Bandanna Dee asked.

"No reason. Just curious." He looked at the watch that he didn't have and rose from his seat. "Well, I'd best be going. It's been nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again sometime soon." He walked off in the same direction as Dyorux.

Bandanna Dee innocently asked, "What do you think he meant by 'seeing each other again sometime soon?'"

"Heck if I know." Sir Kibble said as he dove forward. "All I care about is that he left the rest of the cookies behind!"


End file.
